We all have little traditions for special events.
In my family, you always got to pick dinner on your birthday, and if it was feasible, you got your favorite flavor of birthday cake. Or, icingless cupcakes... or whatever weird thing creeps into your brain, like a bowl of spinach instead of ice cream (yes, I preferred spinach as a late night snack as a kid).
March 2nd is my Mom's birthday. She would have been 72.
It's been difficult for me without my Mom. Lynn was a force of nature, fiercely loving and loyal. She filled the room with her laughter, or biting sarcasm. She raised so many people - foster children, friends of her own children, grandchildren... My Mom loved so many people who loved her without reservation or restraint - I wish I could tell every one of them how much she loved them, because she talked about them all with love, and hope. I am so proud of that; she loved with such energy.
And yes, she sucked sometimes. We butted heads more than once, and had to have a 'Come to Jesus' discussion more than once about what our relationship was, and how it was going to work. We hurt each other, without ever meaning to hurt each other. My Mom wasn't big on saying "I'm sorry," but she would go out of her way to make sure you knew she still loved you.
My Mom was my template for strength, and grace, and love. Sometimes she took my breath away with how absolutely perfect her comfort fell like a blanket over my heart. She was a Best Friend, and my biggest fan.
I celebrate my Mom every day. I talk to her every day. Sometimes, I have the best dreams - simple ones, where I'm sitting in the kitchen with her and we're talking about nothing special. Those are the times it takes me a moment to gather myself when I wake up - but I know I smile a little more those days, and feel comforted.
So, March 2nd, I remember the piece of my heart that was so full for 33 years. I was so very lucky to have Lynn as a mom, a friend, a confidant.
"It has been said, 'Time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone."